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Sooraj Pancholi, take note.
There’s never a dull moment around a Hindi film hero.
Call him an entity, a force, a miracle, a comic book, a ninja or an all-purpose, larger-than-life fantasy who’s unfailingly clean-shaven but silver screen’s swaggering saviour never errs.
Here are 10 essential things you need to know about a full-blown Bollywood hero.
10. His entry is designed for wolf-whistles.
A hero never simply walks into the frame, he charges.
Take your pick between stylish, slo-mo running, crashing through glass panes, riding a horse (or two) or the good ol’ motorcycle.
9. Sunglasses are his best friends.
Hello, even Bobby Deol knows that much!
8. Little known fact: the ultimate nature lover!
Our Bollywood hero doesn’t merely dance around trees.
Give him groovy steps and he’ll break a branch, er leg or two.
7. He can talk English. He can walk English.
Bottom-line: the quintessential Bollywood hero is a man of many talents, the original all-rounder.
Swimming, skating, fencing, fishing, he knows it all.
He can inexplicably cook a feast without really touching the food (because he’s too busy playing with it.)
Dude can fly planes without a day of pilot training. Leave him behind and he’ll race the aircraft till he’s on top of it.
And, pray, is there any musical instrument he doesn’t know about?
6. He’s unbeatable, indestructible, inhumanly strong!
Bullets, knives, poison, prison bars, sumo wrestlers or 150 kilo bikes -- the Bollywood hero can take it all, break it all.
5. He doesn’t feel any pain.
No matter how many hits he takes or how many rolls of bandage are tied on his body, the hero never complains because -- mard ko dard nahi hota.
4. He skipped Newton’s lessons in school
Gravity, what’s that? Just another entry on his ‘defy it’ checklist.
3. He’s the master of disguise.
We have proof!
2. He HATES shirts!
The Hulk within the hero is permanently dying to burst out.
Shirts, out of his way, NOW!
1. He ALWAYS gets the girl and a happy-ending!
Perks of being a Bollywood hero brimming in charm and good looks -- the heroine comes around, her father comes around, the villain gets thrashed and audiences gets its paisa vasool-ed.