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Rediff.com  » Getahead » V-Day special: Put the sparkle back in your romance

V-Day special: Put the sparkle back in your romance

Last updated on: February 9, 2012 17:06 IST

V-Day special: Put the sparkle back in your romance

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Manasi Chaudhari, Lifemojo.com

Note: Our intent here is to provide good and clean content on sexual health. We want to resolve all the mis-conceptions and curiosities about this subject. If you feel uncomfortable because of any article in this section, please let us know.

Any relationship without inputs from the partners may start to feel like an unwanted responsibility or mere duty. Proper nourishment to such a relationship that's headed downhill is very necessary. But it's nothing super human. You've done it before; you just have to do it again. Small efforts of making your partner or spouse comfortable may work wonders in the relationship.

Here are ten quick tips to get that sparkle back in your romance:

1. Set aside time for your partner

Both husband and wife must understand and respect the need for quality time with their spouse and go out of their way to do so. The drive to spend time alone with the spouse should never end.

Arrange for a baby-sitter so that both of you can take your mind off the responsibilities and indulge in each other's company. Wasn't there a time when you craved for it? Why compromise now? Try arranging a surprise date, a walk or even a small chat after the kids go to sleep to make your spouse feel cared for.

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2. Incorporate physical expressions of affection and love

Marriage gets boring the moment the spouses change their perception towards it as a duty or take it for granted. Keep it alive and energetic. Show your partner you love him/her. Frequent kisses or a gentle rub on the head can make the spouse feel loved.

Indulge in sex, take the time to explore and induce that comfort and relaxation the spouses must feel in the presence of their lover. Making love is the most beautiful and strong way of expressing your desire and need for company, and loving your spouse just does that.



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3. Keep the spouse on high priority

Whenever possible, you must let your partner experience the joy of attention. In the time of bad health or a bad day, some quality time from the other party will feel extremely motivating.

You should never ignore the need for help from your spouse and continue into your own busy life. A marriage is a joint effort, if one party seeks help and time the other ought to give it.



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4. Talk about the issues with your spouse

A union with no communication but only grievances against each other only takes the marriage to the drain. Talk to your partner about your dislikes and complaints.

Expectations are bound to be generated in such relationships, so talk to your husband or wife when they are repeatedly not met or if they if they are constraining.

Suppose there are times when you wish to make love while the spouse stays glued to the television, a lack of communication will never help. Let out your desires so that an effort may be directed to meet them.


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5. Induce some adventure in your regular life

The older the marriage gets, the farther partners are drawn into their own lives. Keep some surprises in store. A surprise dinner, an unplanned trip, a secret romantic night, a bath together; these are just some of the innumerable things you can do to bring an excitement in marriage. Having fun and feeling it too in your spouse's company is very necessary for a healthy marriage.



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6. Be honest

Find love again in your spouse if you seem to have lost it. Seeking a new partner isn't the way out. Revive the sparks, do whatever it takes to gain that confidence. Without trust no relationship can prosper. Stay truthful and honest with your spouse and let it be known that only your spouse makes any difference to your life.



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7. Keeping your promises

Promises made must be kept in marriages, never broken. When your spouse is promised something, expectations will set in. A couple of failures may be compromised with when a failure to live up to your promises becomes a regular practise, it will make your spouse lose faith and develop feelings of mistrust towards you.



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8. Share the duties, make marriage a joint effort

Sharing and helping your wife with everything that she does -- the dishes, taking care of the baby, cleaning or even cooking can make the activity more fun and definitely a lot easier.

Similarly when your husbands have to pay the bills or do some financial planning, lend a hand. Share your opinion and stand by them. Everyone feels that the grass is greener on the other side, but maybe a little help could inculcate some motivation and make the marriage look more like a joint effort.



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9. Invest time in yourself

Looking good and feeling good doesn't have to be vanity. Only when you feel good and motivated about yourselves, will you able to put in some positive energy into your relationships with people and most importantly into your marriage. Wear good clothes, attract your partner. Whenever you do so, it will make the spouse feel wanted and desired. This will definitely replenish the lustre that your romance initially lacked.



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10. Spend some family time together

In families where children take up most of their parents' bandwidth for work, family time can do the magic. Spending time together can make both spouses respect what they have and the beauty of it. You can also talk to your kids, learn more about their interests likes and dislikes and build your family well.

It is not rocket science to rekindle the lost passion. Everything is known, but you just choose to ignore the same and walk your own path. Set aside your ego and take the plunge. Marriage is a beautiful experience that can be further beautified through constant effort.


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