'My GF does not trust me! What to do?'
In an online chat with Get Ahead readers May 8, Love Guru answered all queries on love and relationship. Here's the unedited chat transcript.
Deepak: 'm a 19 year old boy, and I had a huge crush on this gal for about five years. So I just recently began dating a girl I met a year ago and we really like each other. I thought I could just leave my first girlfriend, but I can't let go! I keep thinking about her all the time, and I feel really bad because my new girlfriend is so loyal….please help
Love Guru: Deepak,there's a message by Kavita Bavekar in this chatroom that is the replice of yours barring the gender. Looks like the two of you have landed in the same place
Nitish Chandak: what should i do to find out if my girlfriend is lying to me?should i hire detective?
Love Guru: Nitish Chandak, suspicious type are we? Why? If you plan to hire a detective etc to find out if she's lying to you, a cheaper and better option will be to break off the relationship. Because, the basis of any relationship is trust, and you seem to lack it.
Nitish, no, buy a polygraph machine instead. Which century are you living in!
Suneel Bonjani: Love guru I think i am gay. how do i know for a fact?
Love Guru: Suneel, if you don't know it for a fact, believe me, no one will.
Gunjal Dhage: i am not sure if my boyfriend is a virgin. should i ask him?
Love Guru: Gunjal dhage, how does it matter if he is or isn't. What will you do if he isn't? Break up? Or what if he lies to you? How will you know the truth? The past is like a sleeping dog, let it lie undisturbed. What should matter to you is if he is loyal to you now, not what he did before you came into his life
Gunjal, sure, go ahead. And expect to be counter-questioned too.
Chirag Cheran: My wife says i am not romanticwhat do i do?
Love Guru: Chirag Cheran, become romantic! Maybe you think you are, but obviously your wife doesn't think you are. So ask her what she'd like you to do to turn romantic, and do it. Not a very difficult thing to, you will find. Chirag, become romantic -- as per her definition
Kavita Bavekar: I'm a 19 year old girl, and I had a huge crush on this guy for about five years. So I just recently began dating a boy I met a year ago and we really like each other. I thought I could just leave my first boyfriend, but I can't let go! I keep thinking about him all the time, and I feel really bad because my new boyfriend is so loyal.please help
Love Guru: Kavita, it is natural to carry a torch for a former love but the question, does your first boyfriend feel the same way too? If he did, then why did you break up? If he doesn't feel the same way, then you got to get a move on too. Don't mess up the present and the future by living in the past
Rahul: I want to fall inlove with someone. I do not wan to use the social sites because I dont feel that you should engineer relationships, I think that they should happen naturally. How can I go about this? Please suggest how do I start?
Love Guru: Rahul, you can wait for it to happen. Colloquially it is said the fruit of patience is sweet, let us know when you find out
Alex: my girlfriend doubts me for everything, she keeps questioning me for everything which is really iritating....what should i do?
Love Guru: Alex, seems to me you've landed one of those... What you should do depends on where you'd like to see the relationship go. If you are looking at the long term, then you need to talk her out of it. If you are not looking at the long term, then it's simple
Nabajit-Baishya: Recently,i have proposed a girl but she remain silent.Every time i ask her She would neither say Yes nor No to me.When i ask her to take her time,she told me that she had already replied to my proposal.I dont know whats in her mind,does she is in love with me?
Love Guru: Nabajit-Baishya, traditionally silence is taken as a sign of acquiescence but in this case I think tradition has been given the go-by. Believe me, when a girl means yes there will be no confusion about it. I think she means a no. Why she has not verbalised it, who knows. Possibly she doesn't want to hurt your feelings by being blunt...
Yasmin: We are indian family Love marraige= havoc! Upon that mismatch in any aspect,blunder... We love each other. The only matter is i am taller tha him. Mum knows we are in a relation but she denies to accept him and wants me to leave him Its 3yrs now for our relationship We cant stay wdout each othr.
Love Guru: Yasmin, if your being taller than him is the only reason why your family is not accepting the relationship, what can one say! I mean, if he doesn't have a problem about it (hats off to such guys!) and you obviously don't, I fail to see what your family can object to. As for the future and what you should do, depends on you entirely. You both should take a call on it
Omi: hi, i am a very shy person when it comes to meeting or talking to girls, but i ahve a crush on my class mate but i dont know how to start the conversation...please help
Love Guru: Omi, if she is your classmate it must be so easy to start talking. About the class, the subject, the teacher, the summer heat, the lunch.. Start it off as a normal conversation you'd have with anyone else in your class, before shifting gears. And never shift gears unless you are sure about the signal turning green (a lot of boys/men are known to misread this, hence the caution)
Vinayak Tavade: love guru,Is online dating safe?
Love Guru: Vinayak, how safe it is depends on how gullible you are. There are lots of honey traps out there, but I also know a lot of people who have met and dated online and went on to get married and are today leading happy lives. Online or off, the rules are the same: vigilance before weakening
Dinesh: Hi, love guru...i was in a relation with a girl but we broke up few months back....but sometimes we come across each other, its really uncomfortable....can you suggest any ideas how to handle my ex if we come across each other again
Love Guru: Dinesh, the trick is to handle it in an adult, mature manner. Initially, yes, you will feel uncomfortable, but it is not difficult to overcome the feeling. Be civil, of course, assuming the breakup was not acrimonious. If there was bad blood, then it's better to stay out of each other's line of vision
Photographs: Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com