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Let's talk about sex!

Last updated on: January 09, 2014 19:54 IST

Let's talk about sex!

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Arunima Gururani

'If two consenting adults are mature enough to indulge in sexual activity, society does not need to interfere.'

'Maybe it's time for people to grow up'

'The idea of sex should not be talked about in a disgusting manner, but should be discussed as a normal and healthy practice.'

Sex is NOT immoral says Arunima Gururani, a college student from New Delhi.

ALSO READ Pre-marital sex: 'Nothing immoral if both are honest'


If there is one thing most people refuse to talk about, it is pre-marital sex. It is, sadly, still taboo in a society that is secular, globalised and calls itself modern.

Here's an example of what happens when they do. Just a few days ago, in a ruling, Additional Sessions Judge Virender Bhat called pre-marital sex 'immoral' and against the 'tenets of every religion'; he also held that every act of sexual intercourse between two adults based on the promise of marriage does not amount to rape if the marriage does not take place.

As a part of the youth that is usually accused of 'being infected by Western culture', my stand on pre-marital sex is pretty clear.

If two consenting adults are mature enough to indulge in sexual activity, society does not need to interfere.

When speaking about the 'moral acceptance' of pre-marital sex, most of my male and female friends said it was a matter of individual choice and maturity. What mattered to them were consent and the practice of safe sex.

Many of them also disagreed about prevalent social beliefs such as pre-marital sex having a negative impact on future relationships and how it is judged on terms of love and morality.

Yes! This is exactly the kind of judgmental society we live in.

Hinduism, the dominant religion in our country, talks about devout persons who rejected all physical pleasure and comfort as an obstacle to an eventual union with the Supreme Perfect Being.

On the other hand, many famous and sexually explicit works of art and architecture testify to the celebration of sexual pleasure.

One of the best known early sex manuals, the Kamasutra, treats sexual intercourse as a means of spiritual enrichment and thus as a legitimate expression of Hindu culture.

So, now, the religious fanatics can stay out of this -- thank you very much!

Looking at this, India should be the land of sexual fantasies instead of an epitome of sexual taboo. Maybe it's time for people to 'grow up' and be open to sexual education and treat it as something very natural.

The idea of sex should not be talked about in a disgusting manner, but should be discussed as a normal and healthy practice. If the taboo surrounding sex can be removed, it would be easier for 'society' to open up to the idea of pre-marital sex as well.

As for the court ruling on pre-marital sex is concerned, we should look at it as a reality check about where we stand and the mindset of people around us.

The key to not having such archaic views in future is a timely and holistic structure of sexual education. Looking at the people around us, it is high time we work on this so the future generations follow in the right steps.

In the end, I'd firmly like to emphasise the fact that the decisions pertaining to sexuality should be a matter of choice and not religious or moral faith.

One's sexuality is one's own and all decisions regarding it should be made by the individual; it should not be governed by societal notions and religious preaching.

Everyone should and must be open to exploring their sexuality in their own way without any fear or hesitation. Unnecessary remarks should be avoided.


Image: It is time we start talking about sex openly says Arunima Gururani.
Photographs: Sharayah Sherry, USA/Wikimedia Commons