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Is second marriage better than the first?

February 23, 2014 11:33 IST

Can second marriage be better than the first?

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ANI

What makes a couple happier in their second marriage? Is it the bitter experience from the first one or the conscious effort to be a better partner in the second?

Is work-related stress coming in the way of your relation? Why do you feel the drift?

What can you possibly do to keep the spark alive in your relationship? 

All this and more relationship secrets in our weekly round up from across the globe. Read on and be inspired!

Second marriage is better than the first

If your first marriage did not work out, you don't have to worry, because there are few reasons why second marriage can be better than the first one.

You get older at the time of second marriage and thus, you get wiser as well.

You are more verbal to your second life partner and you know what you want from your life.

Kids from the first marriage can be a disadvantage as well.

You have to baby-sit them at odd hours and have to plan your bedroom sessions accordingly.

However, if you are tying the knot again, you and your new spouse will have more understanding with the kids and you can always plan weekends alone, the Huffington Post reported.

Arguments are something at which you will gain hand-on experience till the time you walk down the aisle second time.

You will know what to speak and how to speak with respect honoring the other person’s point of view.

Second marriage is also an opportunity to right past wrongs. You will have so much to learn from your last marriage, undoubtedly. You won’t repeat the same mistakes again.

Second marriage will also allow you to be more emotionally close with your spouse. You will realise that you have someone really close you can always look up to.

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Photographs: Illustration by Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com

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Men find it harder to break apart than women

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A new survey has found that men take longer to decide if they want to end a relationship as compared to women.

The findings of the British poll showed that women take just six days to make a decision on breaking up, but men drag the decision out for over a month, the New York Daily News reported.

According to the survey, while men spend two-thirds of that time worrying about the decision and deciding the most tactful way to break the news to their partner, women make a snap decision based on emotional honesty.

The study also showed that many men prefer to stay in an unhappy relationship for 6 months if they think that it may work out in the end.


Photographs: Illustration by Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com

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Couples mimicking work ethic in relationships may turn out to be happier

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A new study by researchers at the University of Illinois urge couples to develop a relationship work ethic that rivals or at least equals their professional work ethic.

"When people enter the workplace, they make an effort to arrive on time, be productive throughout the day, listen attentively to co-workers and supervisors, try to get along with others, and dress and groom themselves to make a good impression," Jill R Bowers, a researcher in the U of I's Department of Human and Community Development, said.

Couples should be at least as invested in their relationship work ethic, prioritising their partner and putting the same kind of energy into active listening, planning time together, finding a workable solution for sharing household tasks, and handling personal stress so that it doesn't spill over into the relationship, the researcher said.

"But that can be hard to do when you get home and you're tired and emotionally drained, and the second shift begins, with its cooking, cleaning, laundry, and the demands associated with children that compete for communication and quality time with your partner," she added.

Because effort at work is driven by pay, a person's career often consumes most of his or her attention.

"The job gets all your energy, and there's little left over for what comes after. That's why you have to be intentional about working on your romantic partnership," Bowers said.


Photographs: Illustration by Dominic Xavier/Rediff.com

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Why we love those who sound like us

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A team of researchers has found that we prefer voices that are similar to our own because they convey a soothing sense of community and social belongingness.

"The voice is an amazingly flexible tool that we use to construct our identity," lead author Molly Babel, a professor in the Department of Linguistics at University of British Columbia, said.

"Very few things in our voices are immutable, so we felt that our preferences had to be about more than a person's shape and size."

Aside from identifying the overwhelming allure of one's own regional dialects, the study found key gender differences.

It showed a preference for men who spoke with a shorter average word length, and for "larger" sounding male voices.

For females, there was also a strong preference for breathier voices -- a la Marilyn Monroe -- as opposed to the creakier voices of the Kardashians or Ellen Page.

The allure of breathiness -- which typically results from younger and thinner vocal cords -- relates to our cultural obsession with youthfulness and health, the researchers said.

A creaky voice might suggest a person has a cold, is tired or smokes regularly. Babel said the findings indicate that our preference for voices aren't all about body size and finding a mate, it is also about fitting in to our social groups.

The researchers found that participants preferred different acoustic signals for males and females -- and the strongest predictors of voice preference are specific to the community that you're a part of.

The study was published in the journal PLOS ONE.


Photographs: Illustration by Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com

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'Love at first sight' doesn't exist!

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A new study suggests that love at first sight is a myth and it does not exist.

According to the study, the speed at which we fall for someone is controlled by a region in the brain called the anterior insula, Metro.co.uk reported.

In a University of Chicago study, a stroke patient with a damaged anterior insula made decisions normally about lust but when it came to love, he needed longer to think.

The researchers said that this makes it possible to disentangle love from other biological drives.

The study is published in the journal Current Trends in Neurology.


Photographs: Illustration by Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com

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How to keep the spark alive in a relationship

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A researcher has shared some secrets that can help you keep the spark alive in a love relationship.

Karl Pillemer, a gerontologist in Cornell University's College of Human Ecology, spent last three years surveying over 800 older people about love, relationships and marriage.

The expert suggested that it is important to maintain a balance between your relationship and work.

What good is a romantic dinner with candles, music, and good wine if your partner's mind is on a fight with the boss or work left undone?

Disconnect when you get home from work.

According to the experts, staying connected 24/7 to work via your laptop, tablet, or smartphone is one of the biggest romance-killers.

Keep your sense of humour.

According to the elders, humour is the great stress-buster.

When things in a relationship get tough, joking about them has almost magical properties to bring an out-of-sync couple back into equilibrium.

Don’t go to bed angry.

Almost everyone happily married 50 or more years recommends that you resolve your differences before you get in bed at night.

They believe there is something just plain wrong about seething with disappointment, resentment, even fury in the most intimate of spaces. 


Photographs: Illustration by Dominic Xavier/Rediff.com

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Source: ANI