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'Is arranged marriage better than love marriage?'

Last updated on: June 19, 2014 09:00 IST

'Is arranged marriage better than love marriage?'

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In our weekly chat with readers, Love Guru shares relationship advice.

Is your love life down in the dumps?

Has your chosen one left you for someone else?

Or maybe you don't know how to approach the person you fancy?

Don't fret! We've got just the cure for you.

The all-knowing Love Guru is here!

In an online chat with readers, Love Guru shared advice on how to survive a troubled relationship.

For those who missed the chat, here's the transcript:


SAMEERA: I am 16 years old.I want you to answer a very important question.How is love?Is it really fairy-tale like as karan johar shows in his Movies?

Love Guru: Sameera there is only one way to know. Await your turn. And be realistic in love as in life, and you won't be disappointed


Vaishali: It just started in the office. We both are same age. I saw him b4 some times, n notices that he is too intrested in me. How do i start communication with him? I tried 2-3 times but all failed due to some reason. He is a shy guy. I like him. How to solve this issue? Kindly advice on this..Thank You..!!

Love Guru: Vaishali, knowing how relaxed modern-day workplaces are, is it so difficult to strike up a conversation with someone? We talk to perfect strangers in public spaces etc, so what's the big deal about approaching someone in your office? There must be numerous places where the two of you must be crossing paths, the simple thing to do is say a simple Hi, and take it from there


Sunil Ahsen: If you love with someone, and the person doesn't ever give you any response, How may I solve the issue?

Love Guru: Sunil Ahsen, if the other person doesn't show any interest, what's the point? You have two options. You can either ape the tragic romantic heroes of our films and spend the rest of your life pining, or you can move on, get a life and be happy with someone who loves you too


Dhanpal: LOVE GURU, is arranged marriage better than love marriage? Give me your opinion.

Love Guru: Dhanpal, I have no preference, frankly, between the two. I know so many love marriages that have ended, I also know so many arranged marriages that have stayed the course. Each to his/her own, I say. My only view on this is every marriage has a 50 per cent chance of success.


Hiya: After meeting a guy I just met on a fun coffee date, I wanted to try to ask him out to lunch/dinner. I have this thing about having guys pay for me. I really don't like it and think the tradition should be eliminated where the guy pays his own portion AND his date.

Love Guru: Hiya, and your question to me is? This guy paid for you and you didn't like it? He didn't pay for himself either and that offended you?


Gajanan Bose: I work in a company with around 30 employees. In our company, we already have a couple: the girl is working at my team and her boyfriend in another team. I like this woman, who works as the executive assistant of one of my bosses. We have been flirting with each other lately and even did some ballroom dancing in a company party. Some advice to proceed?

Love Guru: Gajanan Bose, you seem to be doing well for yourself so far without any Internet guru advising you. So stay on the course, and keep us posted!


Imran Farooqui: Just how strange it is to spend so much time with someone, to fall in love and be vulnerable, and then to breakup and never see or speak to that person again.

Love Guru: Imran Farooqui, don't run it down too much. But for the process you describe, humankind would be bereft of its finest literature, finest works of art


Aprosh Aarsiwala: Things got very awkward for some reason, and my friends encourage me to break up with her and I did but regretted it immediately. 2 weeks ago, at my grand party, we danced together, and she asked to take a few pictures with me. When I asked her straight up, she said she wasn't interested. I m not really sure if she is being honest. any advice?

Love Guru: Aprosh Aarsiwala, are you the kind of person who breaks up with his girlfriend on his friends' say so? There's only one punishment for such folks, and that is spend the reminder of their lives wondering if they have erred, if the girl will ever come back. Enjoy!


Pratibha Singh: I am 25 yrs old gal divorced have a baby of 4 yrs now I am in love with married man we both love each other a lot but he cant b with me is that right to continue. Also he doubts on me more often if I talk to anybody. By profession I m into HR. What should I do? I cant stay like this for life as I have a baby.

Love Guru: Pratibha Singh. You know that you won't be acknowledged in his life at all. Are you okay with that status? However, seems to me while he doesn't want to give, he expects a lot from you. Are you okay with that? If your answers to both these questions is yes, please continue in the relationship. If your answers are a no, then you need to decide what to do


Ganesh Walke: The other day my gf had a 'sleepover' with her male friend. She went to his house to watch a movie, and she had to work in his neighbourhood the next morning. They did not (according to her) sleep in the same bed. I consider myself pretty accommodating and progressive when it comes to opposite-sex friendships, but I draw the line at sleepovers.

Love Guru: Ganesh Walke, if you draw the line at sleepovers why didn't you? Why are you reacting after the event? Because you didn't draw the line before the sleepover there's little you can do (if she means much to you and you don't want to break up) but grin and bear it. And, yes, trust her when she says they did not sleep in the same bed


Farhan Aziz: Hi Love Guru. I recently got married through an arranged marriage and moved in a rented apartment. I dont like my wife being friendly with the neighbours here. Whenever the women meet, they discuss how men are bad, mean and selfish. This is affecting our relationship. How can I tell this to my wife?

Love Guru: Farhan Aziz, I hope you are not bad, mean and selfish:) But seriously, control freak, are we? How do men prevent women from talking among themselves? I'm afraid I've no idea. One way would be to get your wife to take up a job so she doesn't spend time with other women. Or, if there are anti women working, you need to spend more time with your wife so she doesn't have time for them. Which will it be?


Sukhvinder Agah: My GF and I live in different cities. We have been dating for seven years now. But because of our hectic work lives we fight more often and don't speak to each other for days together. Right now both of us are not on speaking terms. Do you think this is a sign that we break up with each other?

Love Guru: Sukhvinder Agah, you don't break up because you are living in different cities or because you fight often. You break up because you want to. The question both of you should ask yourself is, do you want to?


Mugada: Hi LG, I am 42. I have two kids and I'm a housewife. My husband comes home very late and works even on weekends. Since the last 7 he doesn’t even take interest in house affairs. I feel he doesn't love me anymore. What should I do?

Love Guru: Mugada, welcome to the real world. Before expressing yourself here, have you tried to speak it out with your husband? Sure yes, his work schedule is very surprising, unless he is a bureaucrat in the new government, which I am assuming he is not. Not to make light of your problem, though. My advice, please discuss this (without getting emotional, as men are incapable of handling it), with him.


Rashmi Lokar: My friend id pushing me to make my ex leave. He even offered to take care of it for me. He's going to sell his car so that we can use the money to fix mine and pay some bills... I don't know. I want to see this heading somewhere but I don't want to lie to myself either. Opinions? Advice?

Love Guru: Rashmi Lokar, too little information. The friend who is pushing you to make your ex leave, is he interested in you? What is your ex doing in your life? Who is going to sell his car, your friend or ex? Your message is very confusing, too. So sorry I am unable to help


Also see:

'Is having cyber sex considered unhealthy?'

'I've suffered failure in love for the fifth time'

'Should I marry a wealthy NRI or college crush?'

'She found out about my salary and ended things'

Advice from the Love Guru does not reflect the opinions of rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.


Photographs: Illustration by Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com
Tags: Love Guru