First-time sex: Five important tips!
If you're about to go 'all the way' with your partner for the first time, here's what you should keep in mind.
First-time sex, which is also called 'losing your virginity', is something you'll never forget.
It can be scary. It can also be exciting and special. So it's important to make it a nice experience. But how can you do this? And how can you make sure that your partner is also having a good time? Find out with our top five tips.
1. Pay attention to your partner, too
Is he or she enjoying it? Ask. Is he or she nervous? Try to reassure your partner by saying loving things. Does your partner feel insecure about you seeing him or her naked? Give compliments. Can you tell your partner doesn't want to go any further? Respect his or her wishes.
Listen to your own feelings and your partner's; if you feel like you're not ready for sex yet, don't ignore the feeling! You are the only one who knows when you are ready. Don't let someone talk you into it, and only have sex with someone you trust. That's the key to having a good time!
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Photographs: Sinabeet on Flickr/Wikimedia Commons
2. Build up slowly
You don't have to do everything straight away. Build up the excitement slowly, so you both get aroused. When a girl gets sexually aroused, her vagina becomes lubricated. This is important, because otherwise intercourse would hurt.
For three-quarters of all young people, their sexual explorations go in this order: first kiss, caressing under clothes, masturbating each other and finally intercourse.
Photographs: Wikimedia Commons
3. Talk to each other
The first time you probably won't know quite what you should do.
Pay attention to the way your partner responds. Does your partner moan? Does he or she guide your hand to a particular place? These are signs that you're heading in the right direction.
But often the signals aren't so clear. So talk to each other about what you'd like to try or not. Many people find talking about it really arousing too.
And don't forget to laugh! Humour and sex are a perfectly good mix.
Illustration: Uttam Ghosh
4. It's not like in the movies
Don't expect it to go smoothly from the very beginning. It's possible that the girl will experience some pain when she tries to have a guy enter her for the first time.
You might also have trouble putting on a condom -- it's a good idea to try it out beforehand! Or the guy might come really quickly, as soon as his penis slips inside -- or even before. Or the opposite -- he might find his erection drooping because of the nerves.
This is all completely normal. Take your time and talk about it. And try again. Don't take it too hard if it doesn't work out perfectly the first time -- just keep on trying.
Photographs: t69 on Flickr.com/Wikimedia Commons
For women, first-time sex can be painful. That's because the hymen, a stretchy piece of skin that partially covers the opening of the vagina, tears or stretches to let the penis in. Or because the girl is nervous, her vagina tenses up and that makes penetration painful.
Sometimes the expectation of pain is what makes a girl tense up so sex hurts. If she's really relaxed, aroused and wet, though, there needn't be any pain at all -- or at least it can be minimal. Take deep breaths and relax. Don't rush or force anything.
Photographs: Alejandra Mavroski, Santiago, Chile/Flickr