NewsApp (Free)

Read news as it happens
Download NewsApp

Available on  

Rediff News  All News  » Getahead » 'I like a girl who already has a boyfriend. What to do?'

'I like a girl who already has a boyfriend. What to do?'

Last updated on: May 15, 2014 16:03 IST

'I like a girl who already has a boyfriend. What to do?'


In a weekly chat with readers, Love Guru offers essential relationship advice.

Is your love life down in the dumps?

Has your chosen one left you for someone else?

Or maybe you don't know how to approach the person you fancy?

Don't fret! We've got just the cure for you.

In an online chat with Rediff readers, the all-knowing Love Guru addressed tricky relationship offered some advice. For those who missed the live chat, here's the unedited transcript

Anita Nambair: There is someone I believe I've completely fallen for...but I'm not sure if it'll work because I'm so young. I feel a connection to him like no other, and I'm too afraid to face it. Is he the right one? Is what I feel true? Or am I still too young? I am female and my birthday is 8-8-84...his is 10-29-78.

Love Guru: Anita Nambair, my dear, I am sorry to sound harsh, but you are 30 years old, and that doesn't qualify for "too young" in matters of the heart. Two, he is just six years older than you. Now for your questions: Is he the right one? Maybe, maybe not. But there's only one way to find out. Is what you feel true? Same answer as earlier one. Are you too young? No, you are not.

Nitin Joshi: I have an affair with a girl for the last 6 and a half years and for the last 9 months she has been away. She now wants me around, but is also interested in another person. I want to know if she will come back to me or will she go away to the other person.

Love Guru: Ah Nitin, dilemma, dilemma. Assuming she wants to have her cake and eat it too, in other words she wants the both of you in her life, are you okay with it? I suspect you are not. Will she come back to you? Only you can find that out, by asking her. Do ask her, and decide what you have to do based on her reply.

Mustafa: I am a Muslim and i have been in relationship with the girl who is Gujarati Hindu. We both love each other very much. she is ready to marry with me but she desnt want to change her caste. My parents have objection for this. How to solve this situation? Please help!!

Love Guru: Mustafa, I am someone totally opposed to changing one's religion, surname etc for marriage. I am someone who believes that all religions are equal, and all are great. This insistence on changing another person's religion comes from a deep-seated conviction that the other person's faith is not good enough. That way lies doom, for the relationship as well as society

Navin Shah: Can a man remain faithful to one woman all his life? And if Yes..then what are the do's and donts for it?? Pls advice

Love Guru: Navin Shah, yes, there are many men who are faithful to one woman only all their lives. As there are women who are faithful to only one man. What does it require? Many things, I am afraid, and there is not just enough space for me to go into them

Deepikadeewani: I recently just broke up with my boyfriend. We have a child together. I have met a new guy though, I really like him a lot. The new guy has a son as well. He said that he would like to get in a relationship with eventually but to take things slow. I m just not sure if Im being needy or if my concern is the right thing. Please help!

Love Guru: Deepika, I am not sure what you mean when you say you are being needy and concerned. By needy you mean needy for companionship, that's perfectly normal. It seems to me that this gent too has similar issues, which is why he is suggesting taking things slow. So follow his line, don't rush into things considering neither of you is footloose exactly. If it works out, fine.

Rajan Sha: I am openly bisexual and am currently dating a guy. I feel I need to end things with him because I have feelings for her. I'm not 100% sure if she is bi, but from the things she has said I am pretty sure she is. I want to tell her how I feel, but I am worried about losing her as a friend or making things awkward between us.

Love Guru: Rajan Sha, proceed carefully. A lot of people are not what they say, a lot of people say things for effect, so you can't be sure of her orientation. Unless and until you are, I advise tremendous caution. Anyway, if you are having double the fun, why spoil it for something you are not sure about?

Sumeet Salgaonkar: My wife told me about her experiences working in a care home. Part of that involved her showering patients. She didnt actually realise she would be required to do this until a patient requested she shower him. I am seriously bothered by this. Should I be?

Love Guru: Sumeet, of course you should be. And so should she be if that's not what she's signed on for. It could be possible that it's not part of her official duties-- so please check it out with the authorities before you take a decision on what is to be done.

Sonal: I recently got together with my boyfriend (let's call him Miles). There was this other girl (let's call her Mimi) who used to like him. Miles told me that he kind of liked her but he liked me more. Since me and Miles haven't gotten that far in our relationship, I'm worried that he still likes Mimi but doesn't like me.

Love Guru: The Sonal-Miles-Mimi trilogy, we like, we like. But the issue is, are you and Miles in an exclusive, committed relationship? If you are, then Mimi has no role unless you are okay with a threesome, which I am sure you are not. On the other hand, if you are not in a committed relationship with Miles, what goes for him goes for you too. Capiche?

Nabajit-Baishya: Recently, I have proposed a girl but she remain silent. Every time i ask her she would neither say Yes nor No to me. When i ask her to take her time, she told me that she had already replied to my proposal. I don't know what’s on her mind, whether she loves me or not?

Love Guru: Nabajit-Baishya, traditionally silence is taken as a sign of acquiescence but in this case I think tradition has been given the go-by. Believe me, when a girl means yes there will be no confusion about it. I think she means a no. Why she has not verbalised it, who knows. Possibly she doesn't want to hurt your feelings by being blunt...

Nabajit-Baishya: She used to be very friendly with me I would accept what ever she think about me but her silence is killing me. Recently, i lied to her that i have a girlfriend and since then she is not replying to me. She is avoiding me, giving silent treatment. I dont know what she wants from me. Neither she would be my gf nor i can have anyone else as gf

Love Guru: Nabajit, if you don't know what her reply is, trust me, the reply is a not. If a girl means yes, there's no way you can miss the signal. So my advice is, move on

Got questions for the Love Guru? Post them here!  Love Guru will reply to them next Thursday at 3 pm.

Also read:

Advice from the Love Guru does not reflect the opinions of and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.

Tags: Love Guru