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2 states: 'We marry a person, not a caste'

May 07, 2014 18:02 IST

2 states: 'We marry a person, not a caste'


We invited you, our dear readers, to share your 2 States stories.

Samhita Chaudhuri shares her and her husband Sagar Malsane's tale.

This is a 2 States story of Tripura and Maharashtra.

I am a Bengali and my husband is a Maharashtrian. We met in October 2010 at Newcastle (in the UK) where I was pursuing my master's degree in architecture.

Sagar was a research scholar working on his doctoral thesis there.

Common friends at the university had mentioned about Sagar to me and I was looking forward to meeting him.

During a lunch break one afternoon, I happened to notice and began admiring a stylish young man in a black T-shirt and leather jacket in hand.

The friend next to me immediately got up from his seat to introduce the two of us.

As it turned out, it was Sagar!

This was one surprising and memorable moment in my life.

Soon we were hanging out with each other, talking about architecture, going out for lunches, texting, visiting each other's place and helping out in each other's work.

In December, just before he was leaving for London for Christmas, I visited him for dinner one evening.

He walked me back to my place and suddenly we discovered it wasn't so easy to say goodbye to each other.

Safar left for London the next day for a week and we realised how much we were missing each other.

I was scared because I was strongly against relationships.

After he returned, he insisted that we speak. I wasn't willing to commit though I liked him a lot.

Thankfully, he suggested that we keep it open and that was how it started.

A year went by and soon we were inseparable but deep down, we were worried that the differences in our cultures would come in the way of our marriage.

I spoke to my parents and they were alright with it.

The story with Sagar's parents was a little different.

But Sagar is a peace-loving person. He was also very sure he wanted to marry no one else but me and at the same time he wanted his family to bless us too.

And so he started informing his family members strategically, starting with his elder sister-in-law, who is very close to him.

She had been very supportive and wanted our match to work.

The next person he approached was his mother who he knew would react well too.

A year passed as he kept gathering support but when his father learnt about us, he bluntly turned down the idea.

Sagar stopped the wedding discussions for 3-4 months until the time he visited India.

In April 2013 when he came to India, after much pleading, he managed to arrange a meeting between the two sets of parents.

While he'd agreed, his father warned him that he shouldn't be expected to change his mind.

The deal was that there wouldn't be any drama or proposals from either side.

We agreed.

The day of the meeting was an agonising day.

But the very next day we discovered that the parents had agreed to the match! We were to get married!

Turns out the two families had liked each other after all!

On the third day there was a private engagement ceremony at his place.

In September 2013, we got officially engaged and in the December of the same year we were married!

Love, as they so correctly say, finds its way.

ALSO READ More heartwarming stories like this one!

Are you a north Indian who's married a south Indian or vice versa?

How did you two meet?

How did your families react?

Was there enough drama for a Bollywood movie or a bestselling book? :-)

Tell us!

Email us the stories of your inter-cultural marriage!

Write to (Subject line: 'My 2 States story') along with a picture of you and your spouse, and we will publish the best stories right here on!

Image: Samhita and Sagar got married in December 2013

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