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2 States: He's from Jharkhand and I'm from Tamil Nadu

May 06, 2014 16:22 IST

2 States: He's from Jharkhand and I'm from Tamil Nadu


We asked you, dear readers, to share your 2 States stories with us and we've been inundated with your responses. Aparna Chandra shares hers:

I met my husband Vikash during a plant familiarisation training session which lasted for two days between June 26 and 28, 2006.

I'd joined Bhilai Steel Plant, Steel Authority of India Limited on June 26, 2006 as junior manager and was super-excited to finally come across a young and charming guy at work as I had spent the past two days meeting middle aged bureaucratic employees!

During the training session, I had taken Vikash's card. I called him in the evening and he asked me out for lunch the next day.

Since then, there has not been a single day when we have not met each other.

Our day would end with phone conversations and plans for the next day!

We enjoyed each other's company.

At the same time, I was learning how to lead a new independent life and manage my house -- from buying groceries, vegetables and furniture for my quarter to cooking food on my own!

A few months later, he proposed to me but I wasn't sure -- I thought I was too young to get married.

Soon, I was offered a job in Delhi and had to decide whether I wanted to leave Vikash and move to Delhi.

That is when I realised that I had grown so fond of him that I could not leave him for a single day. That's when we decided to get married. 

Both of us had decided that we'll marry each other with the consent of our parents as we are from two different states -- he belongs to Jharkhand and I hail from Tamil Nadu.

When I informed my parents, they were surprised that I chose to get married so early.

They easily accepted Vikash given his good credentials.

In turn, he beckoned his parents to meet him immediately at Bhilai.

He introduced me to his parents and after meeting me they were glad I could speak Hindi well despite hailing from the South.

At the same time, they weren't mightily pleased with the match.

They were clearly on the lookout for a North-Indian Bihari bahu and not a Tam Brahm (Tamil Brahmin) who wore jeans and had a boy cut hairdo.

Our parents talked to each other over the phone and met in Bhilai.

We got engaged in June 2007.

The discussions related wedding rituals were full of complications.

We were vegetarians and they'd wanted non-vegetarian food to be served to the guests.

It was decided that we’ll get married in traditional Bihari style. I was wearing a Banarasi sari not a Kancheevaram sari.

The muhurat for the wedding was mid-night and not early morning like in the South-Indian weddings.

It was decided that the meals would be served as buffet and not on banana leaves.

There would be a haldi ceremony followed by mehndi, mandapa chadan, tilak, sangeet and finally the wedding on December 3, 2007.

I wore an orange sindoor on my forehead and lehti (Lac bangles) on our wedding.

We had my side of relatives wearing silk saris while his relatives wore designer saris!

During the wedding, my cousins hid Vikash's shoes and bargained for money before Vikash could leave the Mandap.

The best part about our wedding was that everyone was beaming with joy -- there were no tears in anyone's eyes.

Exactly four years after we first met, we were blessed with a son. Our son Akshat Chandra was born on June 28, 2010 and is the apple of our eyes.

Both his daadu and daadi stay with him in Bhilai while his thaatha paati (maternal grandparents in Tamil) stay in Bombay.

In the last six years, we have learned to respect and celebrate each other's cultures -- from observing Vat Savitri pooja to Teej, Kartikeyi to Rakhi.

I'm proud to participate in Chitragupt Pooja -- which is celebrated by the Kayasth community -- along with my family members .

Our tastes in food continue to be different -- I love upma, idli, dosa and curd rice while Vikash's family loves parantha–sabzi and non-vegetarian food cooked in mustard oil.

We make both kinds of food at home and celebrate Pongal and Sankranti together.

My husband Vikash is a gem as he has helped me in this transition phase. He mentored me to be a good bahu and mother.

My parents and in-laws continue to render their support to us in their own distinct ways and I'm really glad I married Vikash and transformed from Miss R Aparna to Mrs Aparna Chandra !!

It has been a see-saw ride with ups and downs like everyone but we continue to sail afloat with each others’ love, understanding and support!

Cheers to our relationship. Hip Hip Hooray!

ALSO READ More heartwarming stories like this one!

Are you a north Indian who's married a south Indian or vice versa?

How did you two meet?

How did your families react?

Was there enough drama for a Bollywood movie or a bestselling book? :-)

Tell us!

Email us the stories of your inter-cultural marriage!

Write to (Subject line: 'My 2 States story') along with a picture of you and your spouse, and we will publish the best stories right here!

Image: Vikash and Aparna Chandra on their wedding day