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REVEALED: Five really silly sex mistakes!

Last updated on: November 23, 2012 19:14 IST

REVEALED: Five really silly sex mistakes!

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Madhuri Banerjee

Author of Mistakes Like Love and Sex, Madhuri Banerjee writes about the mistakes and misconceptions about sex. Read on!

There has been tremendous controversy with my new book Mistakes Like Love And Sex. People are continuously asking me "how can sex be a mistake?" Read on to find out what I think are the mistakes people make in and about sex.

1. Not getting enough

Honestly sometimes, you need to schedule the sex in. There will always be work, children, deadlines, commitments, etc. You need to put some time away and say "Saturday we're doing it!"

Otherwise, it's never going to happen and you won't be able to remember whether it was circa 90s that you had sex or was it in the new millennium. A man/woman needs sex as much as they need food. Set a date with your partner. Keep the children busy or better yet, drop them off at a friend's place.

If you don't have kids, you really don't have an excuse. Switch off your phones while you make love. Nothing more annoying than a Watsapp ping! Besides penciled in sex, quickies are a good way to enforce that scheduled sex need not be the norm.

All men wake up most days with ample 'eagerness'. Make use of it. At night, women should try to wear sexy lingerie rather than those comfy, ugly pajamas. Find the opportunity. The mood will happen.

Click here to read an excerpt from Mistakes like Love And Sex.

Have a question on finding love, making mistakes and her book? Madhuri Banerjee will answer your queries on Tuesday between 1pm and 2pm. Post your questions here!


Image: Make sure you schedule time for sex
Photographs: G.dallorto/Wikimedia Commons

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2. Too much communication 

You know when people say it's great to talk to each other because you bond really well? In bed, it's not a great idea! Men should really shut up with the dirty talk. We all know how big you are. You don't need to keep repeating it.

And women should seriously stop worrying about household chores and rattling off 'to do lists' while they're having sex. Communication should be what you want, where you want it and appreciating your partner for giving it. The only sounds you both should be making are moans, groans and shouting out "yeah baby!" Screaming an ex's name or chatting about your mom is a huge turn off.

Have a question on finding love, making mistakes and her book? Madhuri Banerjee will answer your queries on Tuesday between 1pm and 2pm. Post your questions here!


Image: Stop worrying about household chores and get in the mood
Photographs: Alejandra Mavroski, Santiago, Chile/Flickr

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3. The Circus Act

So you read the Kamasutra, your hard drive has the latest porn collection and you've memorised the latest issue of Cosmo. Let's remember that your partner is not Sunny Leone.

Trying to do the various positions and expecting your spouse to be in the mood is just asking for too much. We are not a nimble generation. The fact that we have done yoga a total of 7 times in our life is enough to make us feel great about our bodies. We still cannot bend in that manner.

Missionary position is always the best. But don't get lazy with all the stuff you need to do before. Foreplay is most important. A big mistake is to avoid it and expect a happy ending. Give each other control occasionally. Show your partner how you like it.

When you're up for experimenting, try only one new thing at a time. You could lose a limb in that pose!

Have a question on finding love, making mistakes and her book? Madhuri Banerjee will answer your queries on Tuesday between 1pm and 2pm. Post your questions here!


Image: Don't experiment. Missionary position is always the best
Photographs: Sinabeet on Flickr/Wikimedia Commons

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4. Taking it too seriously

Mistakes happen in bed. Your nose bumps, your hand gets stuck in her hair, she accidentally slaps your erm... things. Stuff. Don't think it's the end of the act.

You are not Michael Douglas in Basic Instinct. You are just two human beings enjoying the act and each other. Smile. Laugh. Kiss. And then get on with the stuff.

Don't take yourself too seriously. And if the mood is gone off slightly, bring it back on. Women need to take the initiative. Don't lie back and think it's all a man's job.

Moreover, men need to figure out how to enjoy caressing and kissing a little more. Get to it. Be spontaneous. You don't need to always do it in the bedroom. Move around and find new places. By this, I mean in the house. Not the ferris wheel at the county fair.

Have a question on finding love, making mistakes and her book? Madhuri Banerjee will answer your queries on Tuesday between 1pm and 2pm. Post your questions here!


Image: Take it easy. Smile. Laugh. Kiss. And then get on with the stuff.
Photographs: t69 on Flickr.com/Wikimedia Commons

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5. Before and After

You might think that your natural body odour turns people on but it doesn't. Post a gym workout, you might feel like Hercules, but you don't smell like him. Be hygienic. Take a shower or wash up before an act. Dab a bit of perfume that's not overwhelming. Wash. Trim. Wipe. Then proceed.

Also post coitus, you don't need to jump off and take a hot shower immediately or strip the sheets the moment it's over to clean them. Take a moment. Nothing bad is going to happen if you lie there and get your breath back.

And while you're at it, do not ask questions to each other like "Was it good for you", "What does this mean?" and "So when do we get married." It's just not done. Sex is supposed to be a fun act and you're supposed to enjoy it. Don't fake it. Don't make more of it. And don't dismiss it. Each individual needs it. Get used to it!

Have a question on finding love, making mistakes and her book? Madhuri Banerjee will answer your queries on Tuesday between 1pm and 2pm. Post your questions here!


Image: After you're through take it easy. There is no need to rush to change the sheets or head to the shower
Photographs: Pedro Simoes from Lisboa, Portugal on Flickr/Wikimedia Commons

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