Rediff.com« Back to articlePrint this article

Love in the times of WhatsApp!

June 28, 2015 10:13 IST

In a weekly chat with readers every Thursday, Rediff's Love Guru addresses their relationship problems and offers solutions.

For those who missed the chat on June 25, 2015, here's the transcript!

Subhra-Roy: hi..I love Tania but she says that she don't love me. But during a year I'm in touch with her in phone & Whatsapp..But now she is telling me that she is going to got married with someone else. So I don't have any idea what to do??Pls help

Love Guru: Subhra-Roy, so you think if a girl was in touch with you on phone and WhatsApp she's in love with you? If so, I am afraid you are going to spend your life with a broken heart. Tania may have liked you, but not enough to get married to you. And that's how things are in the world that lies outside the phone and WhatsApp, you better get used to it soon.

Narinder Khanna: My self Rakesh kumar...I like a girl why is living in my area, but I could say I love her because I am married and she is single. I feel that she likes me very much. So pls suggest me what should I do.

Love Guru: Narinder Khanna, so you are married and in love with a single girl who you think like you. It's a nice little private dream, so why don't you let it stay in the world of dreams and go about the actual world as you usually do? Sometimes, how things seem to be in the dream world is not how they are in the real world, so let it be.

Nitoo: I love one married women and we exchange text but she avoids me to meet ...... she send sums good morning good night regular , what does it means

Love Guru: Nitoo, great you have fallen in love with a woman who only sends you good morning and good night, how will you react if she sends you a goodbye, I wonder? I think you are part of an sums/WhatsApp group to which she sends these good morning and good night messages, so you are getting them and started believing that they are individual messages being sent to you

NN: I m in love with a girl and were supposed to get married soon. However, we had some minor tiffs and spent a month without talking to each other, when I tried to mend the relationship; she says that she has no feelings for me now. How can I fix this?

Love Guru: NN, the only way you can mend the relationship -- and there's no guarantee you can if she has firmly made up her mind -- is through perseverance. Follow Robert Bruce's example, what worked in the world of kings may work in the world of hearts, too, who knows

Uri Baba: Dear love guru, suggest me how to propose to someone on zarabol :))

Love Guru: Uri Baba, the process is the same that you'd follow elsewhere, just follow it

Sandip Nakhate: Hi love guru, I am at my life's turning point where I have to decide whether to marry with her or not? We are in a relationship from two yrs. Finally, both of our family agreed for our wedding after two yrs. Problems we will face lifetime are different profession and different mentality/culture between both the families, and financial.
We r also immediate neighbour. Pl help

Love Guru: Sandip Nakhate, funny chap aren't you? You've been in a relationship with her for two years, your families have agreed to the match, so obviously it was not a passing fancy, but when you are about to enter the mandap you are having doubts? Are you by nature indecisive? Or do you reserve the best for those you love?

SUMANT MANCHANDA: LG, I LuvGuru a Girl staying in another state. We met on FB. We have never met but seen our pics. I tried to meet in her city but failed as she didn't have cell phone. She tried but failed saying she was admitted to hospital after an incident lost her cell phone. Shall I continue with her, whether her intentions are positive towards me?

Love Guru: Sumant Manchanda, from what I can infer from the little information you have provided, she doesn't intend to meet you, for whatever reason. The possibility also exists that the whole thing was a scam, maybe you got off lightly, without any damage. Should you continue? If you want to test your luck further, you can, but I would advise against it

Vicky: LG, I am married to a psycho women who wants me to crack competitive exams at the age of 33 though working in a pvt company with good salary. I sometimes feel that the same torture i used to feel during my school days from my parents and teachers. With no time left after working in Pvt Company even for family how do i achieve getting govt job

Love Guru: Vicky, have you tried talking to her, explaining how you feel, the difficulties you face? Or you one of those strong, silent types who will put up with anything and not utter a word in protest, self-defence, etc? Obviously there's something troubling your wife about your current job, find out what it is. If you redress it, maybe she will change her mind too

Chandekar muley: Every time I start a discussion she gets irritated. I have told her to tell him clearly that she is in a committed relationship and she cannot continue this but I don't know why she can't do it.

Love Guru: Chandekar Mulay, I am unable to figure this out too, but maybe something about the way you go about it could be irritating her? Have you asked what the issue was? I mean, if the issue is you, perhaps it is time to change.

Subbu: Hi lg,I am in a love with a person who is married but he is not staying with her wife and from past 4 years they are staying together and in future also it wont be happen i told to file a divorcee case but due to the alumni amount he is not ready to file a case against her for divorcee, he is ready to marry me, please advise what to do

Love Guru: Subbu, a confusing story, I can't figure out much, but if husband-wife are not filing a divorce petition, there's nothing much an outsider can do in the matter. If you are hopeful that a divorce will come through some day, at which time your chances will brighten, please stay the course

Santosh Patel: I have two kids and married for seven years. The Problem is my wife's nature is very short tempered. He some time abuse me also i can not break the relationship due to my kids. She fights with me for no reason. Don't understand that we have two kids and we have to make their future.

Love Guru: Santosh Patel, do you expect me to change your wife's nature? That's not possible. But maybe you can change your nature, to avoid doing the things that irritate her.

Dhanpal: What to do if wife abuses me? Should we ask others to give us respect? No. then what to do?

Love Guru: Dhanpal, you are not saying anything about why she abused you? What is the full story?

Chetan-Deepak Shah: There are some differences of dispute between my wife & my parents which have led the situation to send her back to her home. She is always telling me to go separate from my parents which I'm not willing to do.

Love Guru: Chetan-Deepak Shah, it is your call to make, where your future lies. Obviously, there are irreconcilable differences between your wife and parents, and staying together is out of the question. Perhaps you could stay near your parents' house, with your family? Is that an option?

Vijay Kesarkar: Love Guru, My wife have affair with my friend. We have 2 years daughter. Now problem is she is not ready give me the divorce & not leaving the boyfriend. Her relatives abusing me that we will lodge the complaint for 498a in police station. They are pushing me to that stay with her daughter. She don't have affair but my wife is agree with affair. I am live hell

Love Guru: Vijay Kesarkar, first of all, you need a good lawyer to fight the 498A charges, so get one. And two, adultery is a valid ground for divorce, so pursue the matter using your lawyer.