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Rediff.com  » Getahead » 'I am 41. No one loves me'

'I am 41. No one loves me'

November 28, 2015 11:01 IST
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"Why has your wife stopped loving you?

"Have you bothered to sit her down and talk to her about it, what is it about you that she has switched off?

"You can either mope through your life or try and do some course correction to win back people."

Rediff.com's Love Guru has answers to all your relationship problems.

'I am 41. No one loves me'In an online chat every Thursday, Rediff.com's Love Guru addresses relationship problems and attempts to offer earnest solutions.

For those who missed the chat on November 26, here's the transcript:


raj anand: Hi LG, How to love someone who is not physically good looking? Please suggest what to do.Thank you.!!

Love Guru: Raj Anand, so you think love is only for the physically beautiful, while the rest of us are condemned to loveless lives?

For your information, the majority of people are not supermodels and hot bods but ordinary folk whose beauty is not what you see celebrated in glossy magazines and on TV.

There is something called inner beauty, and I hope you are lucky enough to discover it soon in your life


rsr: dear love guru gd afternoon...i hv been writing since long back....pl tell to get rid of cheating gfriend....i hv forgiven her so many times...nw pl..tell what to do..just fully ignore or something else...wht is best advice from yr side pl

Love Guru: RSR, ever heard of the term 'to break up'? If you really didn't want a cheating girlfriend in your life, you are free to break up with her. Surely you didn't need me to tell you that?


jagmeet-singh: Hi LG, Ive been married since 3 years and have a kid and year ago my wife left me as I caught her helping her parents financially and asked her to forfeit them from her name.

But she declared divorce on me and we are going through, I've tried all means to get her back but failed I love her but not sure how to make her comeback

Love Guru: Jagmeet-Singh,obviously you miscalculated your wife's love for her parents.

Not only have you offended her, you have also driven her away.

If you want her back, now that you realise you cannot live without her, you will have to eat humble pie, and persuade her.

You will have to then admit that it is all right for her to help her parents financially


Swati: I am divorcee. I love a guy even he love me.but we cnt marry becoz of horoscope.our family is not ready.

Even he want me to move on but I cnt live without him.now I have to wait for him or i should move on?

Love Guru: Swati, in such matters of the heart, such decisions are taken by both parties together.

What does your boyfriend want to do? Is he okay with letting go, moving on? Or does he also feel like you, that he can't live without you?

If both of you feel the same way, then what is the problem in doing it?


narendrakumar: I am a 41 years old man. No one love me in this world even my wife. What can I do ? I am very sorry.

Love Guru: Narendrakumar, I am tempted to say pets, unlike humans, love unconditionally but I shall desist.

It feels quite said to hear your words, but why is it so? Why has your wife stopped loving you?

Have you bothered to sit her down and talk to her about it, what is it about you that she has switched off? You can either mope through your life or try and do some course correction to win back people


Ashok Nayak: Dear LG, Am 38yrs happily married man to my love. Before my marriage my niece blackmailed me once to go physical with her.

I tried a lot not to do but it happened 3/4 times. After 7 yrs now she again telling me to do the same or she will commit suicide.

I love my wife and family very much & donot want to hurt them pls suggest what to do. AK

Love Guru: Ashok Nayak, this is incest, I hope you realise, and you could land in serious trouble over it.

Should you go to the law? Should you tell your family? Your niece's family? Tough questions.

First of all, I think your wife should know the full truth, of your blackmail. You both will have to face this together, decide if you should inform your niece's parents (your sibling, I presume)...


Suman Saurav: I am 29 yrs,doing a job and very happy but recently i fell in love with one girl but i don't she is doing or not.... so plz advice me what i should do ...???

she is student only i see in evening time and she is leaving with joint family so i have no time to speak with her....

Love Guru: Suman Saurav, I gather from your post that when you say you fell in love with her, you mean it is a unilateral thing, it is not like you two are in a relationship,right?

Well, then, you can try approaching her, but my advice is not to sock her with the love word right away, that may frighten her.

Try and become her friend, and see how it goes, if she likes to spend time with you etc


sanjay abhyankar: LG, I am 42 yr Hindu in love with 30 yr Muslim Girl..

We both already married she is Divorcee, I am facing lot of issues in my current marriage, planning Divorce as fed up with quarrels in house seems me and my wife has lost love..

I have 1 daughter and she has 1 son from previous marriage.. Shall I go ahead with my GF.. Am I doing right?.

Love Guru: Abhyankar, a divorce is not easy as it sounds, it could be expensive both in terms of time taken as well money, will your newfound love wait that long?

I have no idea if you are doing "right', it is your decision and you will face the consequences, if any.

If you have decided to go ahead, surely whether I think it is right or not won't matter, right? But remember, it can prove expensive...


ashok kumar: [SKB] its been 1 n half yr of my break up and my gf moved on wid odr guy but I'm stil single and unable to move on and forget her.wht shud i do lg and v live in same building so always bump into each other we dont talk or meet. What should I do plz help

Love Guru: Ashok Kumar, one and a half years and you still can't get over her?

Maybe your problem is that you are living in the same building, why don't you move out to another locality?

Often times, a change in scenery helps in overcoming breakups, since spending time in the same spaces where you moved as a couple only serves to bring back memories.

Try doing this, it may help


Illustration: Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com

Advice from the Love Guru does not reflect the opinions of Rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.

(Due to circumstances beyond our control, date and time of chat may change)

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