Often, a lot of the resistance is to preserve what is perceived as khandani izzat or family honour. Once that is ensured, you might be surprised at all the compromises loving parents are willing to make for the happiness of their children.
Neha Kaul*, an Indian girl based in Canada, met Chris Denis* at a party in Toronto. They instantly hit it off and the ethnic difference between them was just part of the charm and excitement of their relationship. Their friends loved them and they loved each other and everything was a dream, until the subject of marriage came up. Neha's parents' hackles were suddenly up and the prospect was out of the question for them. Chris' parents weren't as opposed to the idea, although they would have been happier if he had found a nice French-Canadian girl instead.
The couple wasn't going to budge though, and Neha decided that instead of remaining in the hostile environment that her home had become, she would rather move in with Chris. The couple lived together for six months before Neha's parents relented. The two are scheduled to be married early next year and have insisted on a traditional Hindu wedding as well as a Christian wedding ceremony in a church. They believe it is important to keep both faiths alive for their future children. "My kids will be educated about both faiths and will be allowed to choose for themselves eventually. Neither Chris nor I will decide for them," says Neha.
Photograph: Reuters/Cornelius Poppe/Pool
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