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Rejection: 'Two years later, am still waiting for her answer'
Raveendra Rao, Sunil Ambdaskar, Shailesh Shaxena, John Wesley
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June 28, 2007

No one wants to be rejected when it comes to love.

It's painful, humiliating and can hurt your self-esteem.

But it's a cruel world, and most of us will face rejection before it's all said and done. The important point is not whether or not you get rejected, it's how you respond.

Will you bounce back and flourish? Or will you flounder and fall to pieces?

Last week, we published a two part article on rejection, examining these very points. Our readers responded with woeful tales of their own, from the heart-wrenching to the ghastly.

Today, let's look at some of our readers' experiences, and the wisdom they contain.

Raveendra Rao sent us his tale of heartbreak. It's a plea to his long-lost love, asking her to give him the response he's been waiting two years to hear:

I am Raveendra from Mysore, Karnataka. I was in love with my classmate from the first time I saw her. Whenever we met, my heart fluttered in my chest and I could barely breathe. I was transfixed. I spent every single day trying to win her affection. I believed she felt the same way towards me.

After five long years, and plenty of preparation, I proposed to her in my home. Instead of responding, she walked away without saying a word. I was totally confused; it caused me such heartbreak and pain.

It has been two years since that terrible moment, and I am still waiting for her reply. I don't have any means to contact her in person or on the phone. Instead, I send e-mails, but she has never answered.

I hope she reads this and finally replies. Regardless of what she does, I will be waiting for her the rest of my life.

Sunil Ambdaskar, a 27-year-old with a career in investor relations, has a similar tale with an added twist. He writes:

I had a crush on a girl for many months. She was the most beautiful girl on campus. We were great friends all through our university days. Many times, I asked her whether she was engaged or had a boyfriend. She always said no.

After much hesitation and waiting, I finally decided she would be my bride. But when I proposed to her, she declined without giving me a reason. Finally, after approximately a week, she told she was in love with a guy and they were having an affair. I still do not know if the man was married, or why she referred to it as an affair.

I took some time to recover from this rejection. For years, I was unsure whether women were interested in me. I suspected all women of having affairs.

Shailesh Shaxena sent his thoughts on rejection, and how it can best be handled. He writes:

Rejection from someone you are very attached to causes emotional havoc. General depression, no interest in food, avoiding social activities are some signs that this rejection has affected you badly. 

A damaged ego and low self-esteem can affect your position in your social circle. Your friends may find you different as you act strangely.

Depression makes it a challenge for you to do justice to your job and profession. Ultimately, you might lose interest in life. This is worst reaction rejection can cause. Here are a few survival tips...

~ You must completely disconnect from the person who hurt you. This takes strong will power and self-discipline.

~ Going to the gym, trekking, exercising and playing games is a good way to bust stress and forget about your worries.

~ Watch fun movies with exciting stories.

~ Meet your friends and try to make new friends. Spend time with jovial and happy people who will make you laugh.

~ Spend time with your family, as they will always love you and help you. They will not judge you harshly or make you feel terrible about your rejection.   

John Wesley delivers another fine piece of wisdom. He tells us how to recover from disappointment and rejection from a loved one. He writes:

The best thing in life is not to be emotionally foolish. Today or some day, the person whom you trust the most will disappoint you for sure. If you really love them or care for them, don't get upset or angry. Just carry on without hurting them in return. Never say a word that will hurt them. Keep treating them with love and respect.

If you do this, the person will realise that your frienship and love are very important. If they still mistreat you and don't show you respect, move on without them. 

Above all, remember this, loneliness is better than bad company. Never let another person ruin your happiness and hurt your self-esteem. Happiness is the most precious thing in life.

Have you had such an incident in your life?

Did you face rejection? How did you deal with it? How has it affected you? What advice would you give others in a similar situation?

Alternately, did you reject someone? Do you think you handled the situation well? Or do you think you could have been more tactful? Do you regret what happened? Is there a way to say no gently? Is there advice you would like to share with people facing a similar scenario?

Write in and share your experiences with other Get Ahead readers.

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