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Can you win a lost love?
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April 24, 2007

Are you in love with someone else's wife? Or a man other than your husband?


Are you looking at winning a lost love and don't know how?


Several such relationship issues were tackled by clinical psychologist Prachi Vaish during a chat on April 4.

For those who missed the chat, here's the transcript.



shreya asked, i am a separated woman and in love with another man, he loves me too. we are stuck now in the decision making process. need help


Prachi Vaish answers, Hello Shreya, you have not made it clear whether you are through your divorce or not and I'm also not sure exactly on which point you need help in making your decision. Can you be more specific? In general, if both of you love each other (and please ensure that it is love and not lust or attraction) and if the man has no other emotional baggage attached to him like a marriage etc then you can always go ahead. He should be willing to accept you as a life partner without any prejudices about your past marriage. If all these points are clear and if you can visualise a life with him, then by all means do so. Congratulations!



anindita asked, hello Prachi....can u plz suggest me a way to win my lost love plz????


Prachi Vaish answers, Anindita, I need to know more to help you out. How you lost him, what went wrong etc..



XYZ asked, Hi Prachi, I have some issues with my wife. Its arrange marriage and we spent 2 years till now . Now the

issue is my parents doesn't like her family members but that is not the case with me. I don't have any issue with her family. Next month my sister in law is coming for training and I don't know how I will tackle my parents as they don't know abt that. Please help me


Prachi Vaish answers, Dear XYZ, this is indeed a tricky situation but not an impossible one as you have no problems with your wife's family members.  Do you know the reason why your parents don't like her family. For now, you must tell your parents about your sister-in-law's visit otherwise it will be hurtful to them if she lands up without their knowledge. Also try to reason with them to at least be civil to her while she is there. Also try to explain to them that it will affect your married life if they do not manage to get along.



suresha asked, hi prahi this is suresh , how to get rid of internal fear


Prachi Vaish answers, Hello Suresh, you have not specified what is your fear? Is it a particular object or situation or a general anxiety that something might go wrong. If it a particular phobia then you should see a psychologist who could use psychotherapy to systematically get rid of your fear. If it is a general anxiety then you need to see a psychiatrist who will give you some basic medication to calm you down (not sleeping pills).



anindita asked, Hi Prachi..mine is a strange problem...I have been in a relation for 2yrs and then i broke up with by boy friend...of late i have realized my love for him and now want to regain my relation...the problem is he is not accepting me anymore..can u plz suggest me something following which I can win back his trust and love???


Prachi Vaish answers, Dear Anindita, I don't know why you broke up with him earlier but I have a feeling that you want him back now because maybe you have seen that he has moved on and your heart cannot accept that.  Now you are wondering whether you let go of a good thing. But let me tell you it is very difficult to mend a broken relationship. Maybe he has realised that it will not work for both of you and that is why does not want to get back. My suggestion is that try to accept to that it is over and maybe it was for the best. Maybe you will find someone who is more of your type. However, you can extend a hand of friendship to your ex and if he accepts it then u will have the chance to gain some kind of a closure. If he doesn't, then just move on otherwise it will only bring you pain.



Gijaa asked, I do not like the people in my college cos we they gen just gossip else discuss their changing boy frnd trends. Hence I'am very lonely. Suggestions?? Its very lonely and I feel like no one cares for me


Prachi Vaish answers, Dear Gijaa, I understand how you must be feeling, but there are all kinds of people every where. A college is a diverse place and it is possible to find some like-minded people there. You can try joining hobby clubs where you will find people having similar interests.



neeta asked, I am separated women and with love with some body else what to do?


Prachi Vaish answers, Well Neeta, if you are in love with this new man then what is the problem? if you want to go ahead with the relationship and think that he can take care of you then carry on. But make sure that you are not in this relationship just because you need emotional support. In that case it would not last long.



MukhiyaJee asked, I am attracted towards my best friend WIFE , Pls ! Help me


Prachi Vaish answers, Mukhiyajee, you are in a very dangerous situation. As long as it is just attraction, you can keep it to yourself. But do not try to turn it into a relationship or an affair as it will destroy you as well as those involved Ask yourself why you are attracted to her? Maybe she has some attributes which you want in your wife or girl friend. If so, tell her that you would be more attracted to her if she had those qualities. But NEVER say that you want her to be more like Mr A's wife. Once you see the same qualities in your wife or girlfriend, hopefully your attraction towards your friend's wife will subside.



Prachi Vaish says, Alright everyone, it was a great chat session for me and I hope I was of some help. I'm afraid due to time constraints we have to stop here but all of you are most welcome the next time I'm here. All the best to and I hope you all find happiness in life:-)


-- Prachi is a clinical psychologist with Ruby Hall Clinic, Pune. She holds a Master's degree in Clinical Psychology and Psychopharmacology and has worked with Nirvan Neuropsychiatric Hospital and De-addiction Center, Lucknow. In addition to her regular practice, Prachi has substantial voluntary experience as Cadet Counsellor at National Defense Academy, Khadakvasla, Pune. She has also worked as project co-coordinator with United Nations Office of Drugs and Crime.

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