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Do you fight in front of your child?

Aaruna Jain | April 21, 2005

As part of our commitment to young parents, Get Ahead presents a guide to childcare for working couples. This is the second in an ongoing series.

Part I: Childcare tips for working parents!

Often, working couples falter in dealing with their children.

They either overcompensate for their absence, or they just do not bother to make the effort.

image Either way, it is harmful for your child!

Here's what you can do:

1. Be firm

 If you are confident about leaving your child during the day and demonstrate the same to him/her, s/he will be more confident about accepting your absence from his/her daily life.

2. Be normal

When you are back from work, avoid over-indulgence, engaging into too much kissing and hugging, buying small gifts, chocolates every day.

3Be clear

Don't be too soft or have frequent crying bouts, expressing guilt feelings or cursing each other about having to leave your child to go to work.

Your child might get mixed messages from this. S/he might find it difficult to make up his/her mind about accepting your working.

4. Get your child involved

Try and explain to your child why it is important for you to work -- financial reasons, self-esteem, the sense of social responsibility or otherwise.

Slowly, s/he will understand you, appreciate your actions and be proud of your achievements.

5. Be there for them

Be a good listener. Your listening will matter much more than expensive gifts.

Ask your child how s/he spent the day. What did s/he do? Was there any problem? If yes, how did s/he handle it?. And many other such questions.

Encourage him/her.

6.Avoid criticism

After all, you were not there physically to fight your child's battles or correct him/ her on the spot.

Your child will learn from mistakes if s/he gets positive feedback from you.

7. Believe in your child

Show interest in whatever your child is saying. Else s/he may start telling lies.

Never be overconfident or complacent about your child.

8Be in touch

Even if it is difficult, be in touch with the school/ teachers.

You do not want your child to stumble. You want to make him/her an achiever. Participate in your child's school activities.

9Keep your fights to the bedroom

Sometimes, a husband may not appreciate a working wife.

Often, that feeling is loudly broadcast in front of the child.

This is wrong. Nothing can be more harmful for your child.

Limit your fights to your bedroom. Develop a tolerance for each other.

Part I: Childcare tips for working parents!

Aaruna Jain has 22 years of experience in counselling. She holds an MA in Family and Child Welfare from the Tata Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Mumbai. She now consults as a counsellor at the Indian School, Muscat.

Share your comments

 What do you think about the story?

Read what others have to say:

Number of User Comments: 4

Sub: Suggestion

Dear Author, Its really a good article for taking care of children for working parents. Is it possible to give this article in detail, which ...

Posted by Maheswari

Sub: Good tips

Good Article! We all know this...but nobody expressed this! Keep writing....

Posted by vinayak


A very good article for working couples, this is what is exactly happening with us. At the end of workday, we become so guilty that ...

Posted by RIMY BHATT

Sub: 9 musts for working parents!

Good piece of informatin. But could have been with more depth! with anecdotes! Must have emphasised the need for joint family systems to prevail as ...

Posted by B.venkateswaran


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