A diagnosis by a quack!

Bharath Kedlaya

Post-mortems always stink. But they, nonetheless, serve a vital purpose: furthering life.

Allow me to indulge myself by playing pathologist.

Patient No. 6
Name of deceased: The Indian cricket team.
Apparent cause of death: Suicide.
Place of death: Harare.

Investigations:

Specific element of the system to be checked: (Chronic) Failure of vital organ, opening bowler Javagal Srinath.

It's a decade on the cricket field for Srinath now. A high-school cricket batsman will tell you the most difficult of deliveries to play are the full ones, pitched right up, in 'the corridor of uncertainty', shaping towards the slips, in the air or off the seam, in an attempt to find the edge.

An in-cutter every once in a while forces the batsman into a dilemma every delivery -- shoulder arms and risk an lbw to the incoming one, or play and risk an edge to one veering away. Working the corridor of uncertainty is an unglamorous way of getting a wicket as compared to the shattered furniture for sure. But highly effective. Ask McGrath. Ask Pollock. For that matter, ask almost any non-Indian pacer.

Now, Srinath either can't pitch it up or can, but won't pitch it up. Either way, it doesn't speak too highly of an international 'spearhead' of a pace attack. Forget that he still, even after a decade, hasn't developed an effective yorker, or a good slower one -- both indispensable elements of a one-day pace bowling armoury.

Assuming he is going to play only Tests, a pace bowler can, maybe, just maybe, manage without these two deliveries (since the batsman isn't going hell for leather, and there is no direct need to york a batsman for a dot ball/defeat his slog with a slower one) But there is no way, I repeat, no way a bowler can be consistently successful bowling short of a length and not working the 'corridor' in Tests.

Touch and go

At least the opposing team (any team the Indians play) never needs learning to work the corridor. The Indians seem to get out in droves by hanging their bats out to dry, and giving catching practice to the slip fielders. You would think that learning to leave alone a delivery two feet and more outside the off-stump is one of the easier shots in cricket. After all, which shot can be easier than no shot at all?

Nah! Discretion is the better part of valour? You nuts? Us folks play for broke. It's all or nothing.(Jus' bad luck that it turns out to be the latter more often. But just wait, one of these days I'll manage to connect one, and you'll make me a national hero!)- That's what the Indian tailenders (and a top-ender or two) seem to be saying.

Of course, it doesn't help with Dravid refusing(?) to open. If a left-hander seems to be the main criteria for the opening slot, why not Sairaj Bahutule or Sunil Joshi for the slot? Or more seriously, why not Robin Singh? At least he will make the opposition bowlers sweat blood before they get him out.

Also it also doesn't do any good to have guys like V V S Laxman in both, the one-day and Test teams. It's the worst of both worlds.

The one-day disease of playing outside the off-stump is reflected in the less-than-perfect technique for Tests. Also, that a man who can't take a quick single -- the vital life blood of a one-dayer -- can be selected on the basis of a few good Test innings is beyond my comprehension.

The way I see it, Laxman only goes to keep a brilliant and deserving one-day player like Robin 'will-die-for-the-cause' Singh out of the team.

The final diagnosis

It was believed that the patient was making remarkable progress under the able care of a foreign physician. However, for all his expertise, Dr. Wright only seems to have partially succeeded. The patient has relapsed -- the old disease is not completely cured as was believed and hoped.

However, all hope is not lost. There sure were unmistakable signs of life and progress (fielding, fitness, bowling in the second innings, attitude of Samir Dighe, Ashish Nehra, Shiv Sunder Das).

Maybe, the honest and well-meaning physician could do with some more time to work on the stubborn patient. Also, maybe, a consulting psychologist could be of some help for the head of department in motivating the patient to battle for his life and not give up easily.

Illustration: Uttam Ghosh

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Mail: Bharath Kedlaya