A wish list for Indian cricket

Jai Natarajan

The Indian squad has begun (rather shakily) an epic journey over the next 18 months or so with the spotlight firmly back on Test cricket. If I were coach John Wright, my to-do list for the various players who make up the bulk of the team would be as follows :

S.S. Das: Sway away from the short ball, dig in for long innings, watch endless videos of Gavaskar, bat at least a whole session each time.

S. Ramesh: Stay awake past 30 runs, leave wide balls outside off, watch endless videos of Graeme Thorpe.

V.V.S.Laxman: Don't play uppishly in gully, don't leave a gap between bat and pad for balls coming in to the offstump, watch endless videos of your 167 at Sydney and 281 at Kolkotta.

Sachin Tendulkar: Push softly for lots of singles, dig in after 100 for another 100, don't pull the ball in the air, be patient through good bowling spells, work on a flipper and a "doosra", set up the game with a big hundred in the first innings itself. Watch endless videos of Viv Richards.

Sourav Ganguly: Be patient with bowlers, adjust field less frequently, stop pushing at balls outside off, don't get cramped by balls on leg stump, learn the flick shot, get out of the way of short balls. Watch endless videos of yourself at Lord's.

Rahul Dravid: Push through the gaps for singles, don't get tied down by spin bowling on legstump, don't go into a shell when a wicket falls, bat better with the tail, learn how far back to stand at 1st slip. Watch endless videos of yourself at Johannesburg.

Hemang Badani: work on playing the short ball, improve your offspin and pray for injury to Ganguly in the test matches. Watch endless videos of Michael Bevan.

Sameer Dighe: learn to keep to spinners, stand behind the offside rather than legside. Watch endless videos of Nayan Mongia.

Javagal Srinath: Run 5 miles daily, try to bowl a fulltoss from 1 yard behind the crease, try to bowl a fuller length. Watch endless videos of Jane Fonda.

Zaheer Khan: Learn to bowl the ball which comes in to the right hander. Make him play in the corridor of uncertainty more often than one ball an over. Watch endless videos of Wasim Akram. Keep having fun with the bat. Learn to reverse swing.

Ajit Agarkar: Teach Zaheer to reverse swing and then get injured quickly. Cool down players with windmill action of ears. Watch endless videos of Chetan Sharma.

Debashish Mohanty: Pray for the above and keep a more consistent line and length. Stop pitching short. Watch endlessly mesmerising videos of Roger Binny.

Harbhajan: Counter the leftie, the reverse sweep and the reverse-sweeping leftie. Slow down in the air. Work on the 'doosra'. Keep working on the batting and fielding. Watch endless videos of Murali and Saqlain.

Bahutule: Keep the drinks cold, towels handy, increase sprint speed to the center of the pitch from the pavilion. Watch endless videos of Damien Martyn as 12th man. Cool down players with windmill action of ears.

Ashish Nehra: Add a yard of pace, work on inswing to the rightie, pray for Mohanty's prayer to come true, then pray for him to get injured. Watch endless videos of Bruce Reid.

Andrew Leipus: Enjoy your three-day honeymoon, pray the bowlers keep their training going, pray for a paycheck from te BCCI. Watch endless videos of Javagal Srinath.

Jaywant Lele: Keep your mouth shut and attend fewer meetings. Watch endless videos of Hindi movies or anything else to keep you away from Indian cricket.

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